Friday 6 July 2012

Story: The Lodger, Part 1

The Lodger, Part 1
by Shem

shem802@yahoo.co.uk

Derek spoke softly, but I could hear him talking to my wife.

"I'm sorry about what I said last night Adrienne."

"That's OK. You were drunk. I know you didn't mean what you said."

He paused and looked at her intently.

"I didn't say that."

Adrienne looked mock-confused, but excited, slurrring her words a little.

"What do you mean?"

He took her hand in his. I thought this a little forward, right in front of me.

"Adrienne, what I said was, I'm sorry I said what I said. I didn't say that I didn't mean it. It was just inappropriate of me to say. You a married woman and all."

He glanced up at me for the first time, his eyes a little lazy with the wine. I wondered whether he realised I could hear their conversation. But then I thought suddenly, in fact somehow I knew, that he did know I could hear it. Either he didn't care, or he wanted me to hear.

She sighed, and then quite naturally rested her head on his shoulder.

"Oh Derek", she said, "you're a good man."

I had a thick lump in my throat as I sat across the room, listening and watching. For a long time no one said anything. I just watched my wife resting her head on Derek's shoulder. She looked beautiful to me at that moment, feminine and vulnerable as she had never looked before. Something about the contrast between them, Adrienne petite and girlish almost, Derek most definitely a man -- tall, muscular, relaxed. I was filled with love for her, but also with dread and foreboding.

The last six months flashed before me in those few minutes ... Derek moving into our house, a lodger just divorced. Our common curiosity about him, giggly and gossipy at first ... a black man, smart, courteous, but most definitely black in a way that jarred our white middle class sensibilities whether we cared to admit it or not. His brashness, his humour, his confidence. Our growing friendship, nights of dinner and intimate chat, after which I would end up fetching the whiskey and we would all stagger up to bed drunk and slow, but happy. "Such a lovely man", Adrienne would say, repeating herself as people who have had too much wine tend to do. The strange atmosphere I had begun to feel, we all felt it I am sure, a growing weight, a headiness, melancholy, expectant almost. Dreamlike, and disturbing in the way that all dreams are, but definitely real.

"Derek ...", she whispered, her voice trailing off.

"Yes Adrienne."

He smiled down at her.

"Do you want me to ask my husband for some privacy?"

How odd it might seem to someone else, but in my woozy headed state, accepting of a reality of which I was not yet conscious, what she was suggesting seemed perfectly natural to me ... that I might offer them privacy, in my own house, take my leave and accept that I was not part of what was happening here. It was like water trickling, flowing downstream, so natural a conclusion to the course of our relationships that in my inhibition-free state it seemed absurd to question or resist it.

Derek leaned over and whispered in her ear. She giggled then raised her head from his shoulder and looked at me.

"Darling. Would you mind going up to bed ahead of me? Derek and I would like some privacy now."

She knew I had been listening.

My face was flushed scarlet, I could feel the heat in my cheeks, and my throat was too dry to answer. I nodded and got up. I felt as if I was outside my own body, like I had no control at all, even getting up and walking upstairs - as Adrienne smiled and rested her head back on Derek's shoulder - seemed involuntary, like I was obeying some script, some natural law, a force far greater than me. I was excited at the same time, wildly excited in fact, but not erect ... my little friend had shrunk back, as if in deference to a greater power at work. As I walked up the stairs, I thought I might masturbate with the knowledge of what was going to happen, but my compact little penis remained flaccid and numb throughout the night as I listened for any sounds I could catch from downstairs, and later, after the nocturnal creaky shuffling of movement, from Derek's room upstairs from ours. I knew she was there with him. I could not pleasure myself, although later I often thought back with unparalleled orgasmic thrill on that night, so quiet and calm, but so filled with truly erotic moments. Adrienne resting her head on his shoulder, a universal signal of a woman's submission and longing ... the night I knew for the first time, for sure, that my beloved wife wanted another man, so much that she did not care about her sacred vows or the consequences, and that for all her protestations of love, there was a cold, pragmatic contempt underneath it all, which she betrayed by this indifference. And then, to be sent to bed ... time for the grown-ups to have some time alone. A man and a woman, things I did not need to know about or see. Such a gentle humiliation, but so acute, so choking.

I must have succumbed to sleep in the early hours, and when I awoke the bed was still empty. There was a little shudder when all the events of the night before came back to me. It had happened, it was all real. What happens now? I wondered how it would be today, and I didn't know how I was going to behave. I needn't have worried ... the natural, almost involuntary flow of my responses, if not my feelings, continued into the day without really missing a beat. I made coffee, and sat alone for a couple of hours before I heard footsteps. It was Adrienne. She looked dozy and sleepless, but radiant, dressed in just a black shirt of Derek's and her white knickers, her tanned legs on display in all their magnificence. Her light brown hair was a mess, and she casually passed a combing hand through it as she came over to me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Mmmm", she muttered. "Morning."

"Good morning."

I passed her a cup of coffee. She drank from it and leant on the counter, looking at me with a happy expresssion. I could feel her affection for me, but I knew that was not the only source of her obvious and delirious happiness that morning.

"You're so sweet", she said. "I'm so lucky to have you."

I felt numb and swept up, like I was still very much in the midst of this momentous thing. Not much was said, not many words were needed, but I knew that we were talking about things that were quite real and profound, and that everything had changed. Eventually I found some words for her.

"I just want you to be happy Adrienne."

She smiled, flushed and kissed me again.

"I am happy, honey. I am so happy I can't describe it."

I stepped back and looked at her. She looked so beautiful. For the first time, I felt a stirring as my little cock throbbed and swelled at the sight of her. My wife. The words and pictures were spinning around in my head ... my wife ... another man ... Derek ... a black man. Another man has fucked my wife. A black man has fucked my wife. Yes, a black man. Why did that detail, my cuckolder's race, make my little cock so hard? I thought something inside me knew, but couldn't quite work it out in words. No matter. I was breathing hard now, and Adrienne was looking at me quizically. She glanced down at my modest crotch protrusion.

"Do you need to go back to bed for a while, honey? It might ... sort you out. Might be just what you need."

She came over and stroked my hair, then leaned and whispered in my ear.

"I'll come with you if you like. We could ... talk about last night."

So knowing, and so beautiful. It made her seem immensely powerful to me. I don't even remember nodding my assent, we both just knew it was going to happen, so she took my hand and led me to the bedroom.

We snuggled in our bed, and I felt the heat of her body against mine. Our embrace was warm, loving, immense, but also quite different from anything that had gone before, in crucial details, and in the feeling it gave me. For a second I had thought we were going to make love. But Adrienne, having discarded Derek's shirt to the floor, had pointedly kept her knickers on, a little white cotton barrier I had not known before in our bed. She stroked my hair tenderly, breathing deeply, a sleepy, affectionate, slightly condescending look on her face. My cock was hard as a stone, but I was lost as to what to do with it. Ever so gently, my wife led the way.

"You know, ever since I first saw Derek, I wondered what it would be like. But I never thought it would actually happen."

I stiffened even more at her words, the little thing was sore now. I answered with a choked, dry voice.

"And now it has happened."

"Yes. It has."

I knew she was aware of the effect this was having on me, and my shameful excitement that would not hide itself but declared itself more at every turn. She grinned.

"You can touch yourself if you want. While we talk."

I had never pleasured myself in front of Adrienne before, it felt like a private, almost shameful thing before, but now she was inviting it, prompting it, and I couldn't help myself. How everything had changed, so quickly.

"Thanks", I said, grateful for the small erotic chance she was giving me, after the night she must have had. I reached and stroked myself for the first time ... it would never be large, but I was surprised to find it just a little bigger than it had felt before, hot, swollen and aching.

"So what ... what was it like Adrienne?"

She chuckled. Happy at the memory.

"It was wonderful Max. It felt like something that was meant to be. I had thought about it and imagined it so many times, but in fact it was better in reality. Warm, intense, surprising. Even ... well, loving."

I gulped. I was stroking my cock now as Adrienne looked at me intently, teasingly.

"What happened downstairs? After I left you."

"He kissed me. We kissed. So tenderly, it was a new experience for me. It felt like we had known each other so long, we'd been building up to it for so long, but it was still a bit surprising. I never kissed a black man before. His dark skin, full lips. I wanted him, he knew I wanted him, and he could do whatever he wanted with me, but we had a lot of fun just kissing and cuddling like teenagers for quite a long time."

I thought I might blow just hearing this, but I was in a strange and sweet ecstasy hearing her talk, touching myself in front of another, ignoring my shame and almost relishing it, and thereby breaking my own little taboo as Adrienne had broken her wedding vows. I pleaded with her to go on.

"He touched me, slowly and tenderly, just natural and nothing too aggressive. His hands on my breasts, I swear I was almost proud of myself, my nipples were so rock hard when he touched them, dark brown and dappled. Like never before."

Like my little cock now, I thought. Never seemed so perfectly hard. I imagined my wife's nipples under his touch, like little hot stones, standing to attention.

"His tough fingers gently stroking up the under side of my thighs. His hands felt so different to yours, so masculine somehow. My whole body felt like one single thing though. I felt it all over. He was loving my whole body, and we still had our clothes on. Its never felt like that with you."

"Did you ... touch ... him?"

"I kept trying, reaching for him. He held me back, like he was waiting, teasing me."

"He kept you waiting." I thought my little cock would burst at her words.

"Yes", she said, then whispered softly, "but when he let me touch it, well, my oh my."

"Was it like mine?"

Adrienne suppressed a laugh.

"No."

"What was it like?"

She smirked, glancing down at my penis.

"You want me to describe Derek's cock to you Max? While you stroke your ... your little pee-pee?"

The gentle teasing, the childish term she used to describe my penis, it was like she knew all my pathetic buttons better than I did. My 'pee-pee' was so stiff now it hurt.

"Yes ... please Adrienne ..."

"Well, let's see ... I touched it through his trousers and I could feel the size. Then I unzipped him and took it out and ... well, I got another surprise. I had thought he was erect you see. But then there was this huge thing, flaccid and heavy, swinging out. Bigger than yours is now. Imagine that, Max -- Derek is bigger when flaccid than you are erect. I had never thought of your penis as big, far from it, I suppose I had got used to it ... but I never realised quite how small it could seem in comparison to someone like Derek. So much cock. All for one girl. I was thinking, ooh, all for me?"

"What did you do?"

"Just played with it for a while. He let me. Stroked it with my fingers, feeling it pulse and react. It was a new experience for me, feeling a real cock like that. Then I kissed it. Licked it. Licked these huge black veins running down it. I shifted onto the floor, on my knees, and took it into my mouth. So much cock, Max! It feels like I can still feel it. My mouth was full of this flaccid, meaty cock, gagging. I couldn't help thinking about your little one, how small it felt, like my own thumb, and how this was something so different. So different. Then it started to get harder, longer, and I couldn't take it all in my mouth any more."

"Go on. Please ..."

"I sucked him. As best I could. Sucked the head of it, he was grunting like he liked it, and I just wanted to please him, to please this huge ... cock. I worked it up and down with my mouth and tongue, trying to get it into my throat. I wanted to show Derek I could do it. That I wasn't just some square married white woman who can't handle real cock. He seemed to like it, he was grinning and grunting, grabbing my hair."

I was choking, dry-mouthed, still stroking, about to burst, hearing my wife talk like this.

"Then all of a sudden he just pulled me off his cock and held my face up to his. He said: I've been waiting for this for a long time Adrienne. Thought about it every night since I came here. Seeing you with Max, knowing what you needed. And now I'm going to fuck you."

I had to stop stroking my little dick at this point. I didn't want to come in front of Adrienne like this. Well, I wanted to hear it all first anyway.

So she went on, telling me, very slowly, what had happened. How they had rushed upstairs, excited, flustered, how he had practically ripped her clothes off, thrust her down on the bed. She told me how wet she had been, like never before, and how even his huge penis had penetrated her so easily, filled her, hot and wet. She talked softly into my ear about how that had felt. As though Derek had penetrated her whole body, not just her vagina, but all of her. I was delirious hearing it, my memory of it fuzzy with the ecstacy, the mental image of the black penis penetrating my wife repeating over and over in my head, and I exploded before her story climaxed. Adrienne looked at me, tenderly, with something like pity but a little love as well, as I lay there with my softening penis in my hand, covered in my own cum. She offered me a tissue to wipe myself, smirked, and left the room.

***

I had hurriedly showered and dressed. Adrienne was still in the kitchen, drinking more coffee. I heard the sound upstairs I had dreaded. Derek's footsteps. My cuckolder, coming down the stairs. He had fucked my wife, slept a peaceful sleep, and now he was awake and heading towards me. I couldn't face him.

"I'm going out for a walk," I said to Ade, and I could hear her chuckling to herself as I closed the door.

I stayed out all day. Walking around the park, sitting on benches, lost in a daze. It didn't seem real. I was shaken and confused. Hurt ... yes. Humiliated ... yes. A thick lump in my throat all day. This had to be wrong, so wrong. I had to go back, tell them Derek had to go, this was all unacceptable. I had to tell Adrienne she couldn't do this to me, she had to respect our marriage. It was all wrong on so many levels, it had to be stopped. I had to be a man again.

My penis begged to differ. It betrayed me, hardening every time I thought of what had happened, which was very often that day. It was so hard it hurt. I knew that on some not very deep level, I wanted this. It excited me. Thrilled me. If not, why was my little thing so stiff it was sore? In a sordid public toilet in the park, I wanked again. I couldn't help myself. It was a glorious sunny day. I didn't read, go anywhere, didn't even eat. I just lay back on the grass and let it all spin through my head. I was safely away from them, off in my own head, in fantasy land, not having to deal with the reality.

But I knew it was waiting for me. As the sun began to set I forced one foot in front of the other and headed home. When I came to the door I was trembling. Afraid to go inside my own house. It was a different place now. Conquered territory. A perverse thought, ugly and uncivilised ... but with a large degree of truth. My hand shuddered as I put the key in the lock. It wouldn't catch first time. I forced it in with a shove and opened the door.

They were both there, waiting for me. They both looked as though they were trying not to look too happy. I couldn't meet Derek's eye, until he forced me, coming over and putting his strong hand on my shoulder.

"How are you doing, Max?" he asked, smiling.

I buckled slightly under his touch, weakening, and he reached for a chair for me. I sat down, suddenly exhausted.

Adrienne put a cold beer down in front of me, gently touching my shoulder as Derek had done, and I gulped from the bottle.

For a long time I couldn't speak. My wife sat, self-contained, confident, opposite me, next to Derek. At one point, she squeezed his hand as if to indicate something to him. Something about the familiarity of this made me shudder. It was Derek who spoke first.

"I ... think I know a little bit of what you're going through, Max."

I almost smiled. How could he?

Then he went on.

"Believe it or not, I've been in one or two situations like this before."

"What ... what kind of situations?"

"Well ... situations involving ... husbands and wives. Couples."

"I see."

Adrienne smiled knowingly. Perhaps they had already talked about it.

"You see," Derek leaned a little towards me, imposing himself, "society, conventions ... they teach you to think in a certain way, react in a certain way. You are brainwashed into thinking that certain things are allowed, and certain things aren't. That there is only one way of being a man. One way of being a couple. But all that ... its just bullshit Max."

He let his words sink in a little then continued.

"There are no rules, Max. There's just us. We are all adults. We can do whatever we like. We can decide our own rules and have our own ways of living. Our own ... relationships."

I thought about his words. I understood on some profound level. I just couldn't see where it was going, what it meant for me.

"I ... I think I ... agree, Derek. But ... what does that mean for me, for me and Adrienne ... what happens now?"

"Do you love her Max?"

"Of course I do. More than anything."

Adrienne flushed, smiled at me full of warmth.

"Don't you want her to have everything she could ever want? People, women especially, are always being told they can't have it both ways. Don't you want to give this to your wife, as a gift, a gift of love? Letting her have it both ways ..."

Both ways? Again, deep down I knew what he meant, I just couldn't put my finger on it. I was silent again for a long minute. Finally I spoke.

"Yes. Yes I do want that."

I looked at my wife.
"I want everything for you Adrienne."

She touched my hand.

"Thank you honey."

Derek smiled.

"I admire you Max. It takes guts to say what you're saying."

This seemed perverse to me. We all knew what we were talking about, what I was consenting to, submitting to. It seemed shameful to me, but I was compelled towards it and couldn't stop myself.

"So what do ... I do ... what do I do now?" I asked.

"You want my advice Max?" Derek broke in, not waiting for an answer. "Just go with what you feel. Don't think too much. I've been here before ... and I think you'll know what feels right. How to deal with it. How to ... behave."

I knew, I knew so well, and I followed my cuckolder's advice. I did let go. I followed my heart, or the strange perverse force that was propelling me. I didn't think. I just went with it.

I left them alone and went to watch TV, in a daze. I don't remember what I saw. I could hear them chatting, giggling, making dinner. They called me in to eat, but I couldn't. I just drank and stared at the TV. Adrienne came to check on me a couple of times, stroking my shoulder affectionately. After they had eaten they came and stood in the doorway.

"I'm beat, I'm going to bed," said Derek. He looked at Ade.

"Me too," she said.

I was choked again and could hardly speak.

"G... Good ... Goodnight," I said.

"Night Max."

"Goodnight honey."

Adrienne kissed me on the lips then turned to follow Derek. He placed a gentle black hand on the small of her back as they turned to go upstairs, smiling at me as he did so. Adrienne looked back and flashed me a little wave with her fingertips as they disappeared.

***